Those who are found where there is said to be nobody

It's 1.am and Sunny is chasing me down a deserted street in Kigali. We've just been drinking but that's only half the story. How exactly we came to this at this moment in time is actually a fairly long story but I won't go into that. Suffice to say that it's the middle of the night and I'm running like someone who has just discovered they are going to be interrogated by Jack Bauer. I'm running faster than Sunny but he is catching up.
And then this guy on a motorbike shows up. He's cruising Kacyiru looking for a client and he spots the two of us. He slows down keeping pace with me and turns his head to look at me quizzically.
"Are you guys doing exercise?" He asks me with a straight face.
***
Many days later I'm sitting under a tree drinking a beer. Yes, you read that right. We have just made our visit to a place we call the Shady bar because...well its a shady bar. So shady that technically it's not even a bar. Long-suffering readers of this blog might recall a previous post I wrote about this place in which I nearly died while on my way to take a pee.
Anyway I'm sitting on a bench with Adam while sitting across from us chuckling like demented hyenas are Oscar, Sunny and Louis. We've just had a long drawn-out debate about who is the greatest living rapper and whether all rappers can be put in the same category or need to be judged as if they are basically in different genres.
Anyway wer'e still sitting there and chatting when there is a loud bang right next to me. I manage to keep my cool mainly because I figure-quite correctly- that just about anything can happen in this place.
It turns out an avocado just fell out of the tree above our heads.
Adam doesn't seem particularily amused "Dude, that thing nearly hit you!" He said "I think we had better move" he's looking above his head as if he suspects there might be ninjas in the tree.
"It's just an avocado" I tell him
Adam isn't listening "Did you hear how loud it was?" He says shaking his head "What have you people got me into?"
***
I was watching TV Rwanda the other night. It was a Sunday night so options were limited. Shortly after news they brought a 'comedy' programme called 'Duseke' which means 'let's laugh.' It's a good thing they have to spell it out in the title because quite frankly I wouldn't have known it was a comedy. 'Duseke' is quite literally the unfunniest thing that has ever been broadcast. I've been blogging for well over two years and I've rarely been lost for words when describing something but on Sunday I officially reached that point. Words are useless to describe just how appalling this programme was. I first caught it about two weeks ago but at the time I remember thinking it was just monumentally bad. The episode I watched on Sunday made that one look like 'The Simpsons'- it was a mock news-bulletin but so utterly devoid of even the tiniest suggestion of wit that you could only watch in horror. I dont know if there is such a thing as anti-humour in the same way there is anti-matter. If so, this was clearly it. Painfully, criminally unfunny.
By far the most painful thirty minutes of television I have seen in a while.
***
Far more entertaining-infinitely so- is the wonderful 24 which I've been watching a lot of recently (SPOILERS ALERT IF YOU HAVENT SEEN SEASONS 4 and 5)I had a bit of a crush on Michelle Dessler in Season 3 and when the entire city was in danger of being killed off by a deadly virus I was thinking "Oh no-Michelle is in trouble...get out of the dammn hotel Michelle...Jesus she's goimg to get infected..."etc. When she reappeared midway through Season 4, I was completely ecstatic and I occasionally lost the thread of the plot. As for her death in Episode 5, let's not even get into that. Infact 24 has been almost gleeful in the way it kills off its lead characters.
But anyway the show is wonderfully preposterous. The idea that you would torture the Presiden't Chief of staff infront of the President himself inside the oval office is far-fetched to say the least and Christ there is so much torture and more often than not its someone who doesn't have a clue what is going on. Jack Bauer never has too much time on his hands. If he asks for the price of a pizza and you dwell on the question a nano-second too long, he'll start breaking your fingers. I love Jack.