Tread softly for you tread on my memes

Last Friday I found myself with only 1,700 francs in my pocket. I was expecting some money in the afternoon, but by 3pm it hadn't shown up.
So what was the problem then? Well the problem was that I was scheduled to have a date with my girlfriend after work. After that, I had to dash back to Kiyovu to have the usual Friday drinkup with my friends. Then it was to our final destination the Virunga Bar. How on earth was I going to acomplish even a fraction of that with 1,700? It was the financial equivalent of trying to lick my elbow. You cannot even begin to imagine the mental acrobatics in my brain as I tried to work out how I was going to accomplish so much with so little.
Thankfully the money eventually came in and the day was saved, but it was a close one. When people ask me how I'm doing, I like to say "I'm hustling" They think I'm trying to be funny, but as you can see I'm being deadly serious.
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I was in a Twegerane the other day (18 seater buses or 14 if you are in Kampala) and we stopped at a Petrol station. The man at the pump asked the driver to reverse so he could be better aligned with the pump.
"Erm...I can't do that?" The driver said
"And why not?" Our friend at the pump asked.
"Because the car can't actually reverse" He replied and carried out a demonstration. Everytime he tried to engage the reverse gear the car buckled and made a funny sound but did not go backward at all. Interestingly no one in the bus found this alarming in the slightest. I had other problems of my own mind you- my feet were on the engine and it was burning like hell. But it was strange- the car would not go backwards at all.
I thought: How often do you get to see a literal manifestation of a Tony Blair metaphor?
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My friend Adam told me about a preacher who prowls the streets of Kigali in the afternoon around the La Sierra area. He walks up and down screaming at passers-by to repent their sins and to basically get serious. Jesus is on their case apparently and Mr Preacher man has taken it upon himself to personally inquire after their souls.
I couldn't help wondering- how on earth do you convert people by shouting at them in the street and just basically acting mental? Has anyone ever said 'You know I didn't believe in God but when I saw that weird guy on the street corner screaming that Jesus loves us all...well, I had to give my heart to Jesus once and for all" Talk about optimism! Top marks for effort, but I think the Physics expression is 'no work done' or as the English charmingly put it, he's done fuck-all.
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I had a debate with my friends the other night. I was telling them I didn't understand the concept of porn. Well I understand the concept of course, but I don't understand the concept of watching it. Either you are having sex or you are not. Watching two other people having sex seems like a waste of time. What's the point?
They looked at me in astonishment "Dude, it's porn!" They said.
"Yeah, but is it worth it? What's the point?"
They answered "It's porn!"
"But how does that help?"
"It's porn!"
While I looked around for a branch big enough to bash out my own brain, the conversation was eventually steered to a topic where my friends would be forced to use more than two syllables.
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ELECTROGAZ- our electricity and water utility company- ran an announcement on TV the other day. I wish I knew what it was about, but I would be lying because there were so many spelling errors that it was virtually unintelligible. They might claim it was in English, but I doubt it would meet the technical requirements. I'm sure there were Chinese sitting in their living rooms and shouting excitedly "Look- an announcement in Mandarin!"